Being An Adult
I came to realize that I am actually a spoilt kid.
Nothing conforms to "you have grown up" if I did not know how to be sensible, responsible and mature of situations.
Based on law, once you have past the age of legal 18, you are considered to be an adult. They take into consideration of the fact that you will be able to make wise decisions and be able to take up a full time job.
However, based on my own experience, being an adult requires more that that; it involves the emotion and intuition of an individual. Wah, cheem right? But trust me, I am not wrong.
My dad often tells me that I am not "at that level" yet, every single damn day. What he meant was, I am not qualified as an adult, yet. The following explains it all:
Truth to be told, I admit that sometimes I do act like a kid; I still demand things my way, fail to share and quite frequently run away from responsibilities. For responsibilities, I mean by volunteering to do the dishes, finding a full time job and cares more about my own comfort zone. HAHA, what a terrible personality I have after reading this paragraph.
But ironically, I pursue perfection, success and challenges. HALP.
Growing up is painful and hard which I am in the midst of it. I hate sharing my boyfriend with everyone, I hate having to share my valentine's day with everyone, I hate having to share my "boyfriend day" with everyone and I hate having to share my birthday with everyone.
So two months back, I was told that his sister is getting married in February and coincidentally (unfortunately), it was set on my birthday. For the past years of my living life, I never once celebrate someone's happiness on my birthday and it had made me special, no doubt. And right now, I had to face this (tragedy) soon. I am happy for his sister and will wish her a blissful marriage but it saddens me still that I will not get the attention that I want on my birthday.
So because of this incident, it forced me to realize that I am still not "at that level" yet as it is difficult for me to come into terms with. I mean won't you hate it when your forever happy day is being ruined? Okay, I stop... Her fortune teller should be fired...
I told one of my closest friends, Cheryl that I feel so lost at this age. To me, I thought the adulthood will come naturally and I will be transformed into a sensible and mature adult immediately. However, I regret the times where I did not treat life and myself seriously. Growth during the teenage years is so important as it is what it will shape you into the future; I took it too lightly.
But I admit I had grown out and improved from who I was years back and feel better about my present self as compared to the past. Well, for now.
2 more days and I will be at the age that I feel so embarrass to reveal. Will I be more of an adult by then? I shall leave this post as a piece of my rant.