Somehow, The Thoughts Are Louder At Night

And I can hear myself.
I tend to reflect a lot at night and sometimes overthink them and yes, which is kind of bad.
But I love how quiet midnight is because I feel calmer and much more inspired as compared to doing work in the day.
My boyfriend often calls me the vampire which comes out at night and goes to "sleep" (more of daydreaming) in the day.

Basically, I am like a lil done with school though I am left with one more semester before I graduate.
Time is ticking real slow yet I do not want it to be quick. Reason being that I still do not know what do I want to do after I graduate.

I want to earn and give myself a comfortable life; shopping without difficulties, paying without difficulties. Because I have been experiencing being nearly poor for a couple of times since I started school. Furthermore, two of my part time jobs are gone so I left nothing supporting my expenses.

Damn lame about why I end up jobless even though I had two part time jobs. One of them is performance based and as expected, I could not hit so I was out of that job, and as for the other one, they had one of their outlets closed down which was the one I am in. Tough life, huh?

I always admire people who have achieved their dreams and am working on it. It seems so easy for them, but why can't I do the same?

Since young, I was indecisive. Until now, I still am which, will be rather tough for me to do something when I graduate. I hate how I am a low risk taker because I hate setbacks.

I hate how I can't do things which I actually foresee myself doing it. I have many friends asking me why aren't I applying for SQ since I have the physique. I can apply, but what is making me procrastinate is the air sickness problem. I'm sorry to those who I have brushed this question away saying, I don't see a future in it, and what can I do once my contract were to end? See, I am painfully flawed. I love the idea of traveling before settling down to reality as that is on my bucket list too.

Ugh, ok, I hate it when I am so pessimistic.
I mean, I can just heck care and go do it but I am afraid. Wa, Jayanne, you really got no balls man.

My boyfriend shared a news on facebook to me about SIA hiring and I was SO EXCITED.
Actually had the urge to apply for whatever I want when I saw it.
Until I have decided my mind, I hope it will not be unavailable when I apply for it.
HAHA, always out of luck.

Okay but I really really would love to share at least a good news to everyone which is for myself and not for somebody else's sake.

Before it is too late.